Ellis L. Marples

Councilman, Pompton Lakes, NJ

 

Leadership

 

I believe that Holders of public office

should lead by example.

 

Laughs on the Lighter Side   

Actual Church Bulletin Bloopers

 

• The Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
• The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.
• Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.
• Evening Massage - 6 PM.
• The pastor would appreciate if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.
•  The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.
•  Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.
•  Ushers will eat latecomers.
•  The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.
•  For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
•  The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.
•  The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth into Joy."
• A songfest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.
• Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing service will be discontinued until further notice.
•  Stewardship Offertory: "Jesus Paid It All."
• The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.
•  Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
•  The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement noon Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
•  The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success.
• Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.
•  Twenty-two members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.
•  Don't let worry kill you. Let the Church help.
•  Thursday night-Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
• The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
•  This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
•  Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
•  Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing "Put Me In My Little Bed" accompanied by the pastor.
•  Thursday at 5 PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.
•  This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
•  The service will close with "Little Drops of Water." One of the ladies will start (quietly) and the rest of the congregation will join in.
•  Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.
•  The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
•  A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
•  At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
•  Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
•  The 1996 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
•  Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church Secretary.
•  8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
•  Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
•  The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
•  Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who are preparing for the girth of their first child.
•  The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
• ..........and last but not least................
•  The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday:.. "I Upped My Pledge --- Up Yours."

 

Source: John Ramdial